It burns to feel like you are outside of God’s love.
People spend their whole lives afraid of a place burning with fire.
I say, bring on the fire.
If it means putting an end to this hell on earth.
And it’s not just hard times.
It’s not just pain, sadness.
It’s all of it all at the same time.
Making no room for escape.
You try to shift your butt cheek to relieve the pressure from sitting wrong, but bam!
Another type of pain.
And you can’t really compare one to another
Because it’s its own distinct pain, different from all others.
To feel unwanted, unlovable…
Because if God doesn’t love us, why would anyone else??
Why should I love me if God doesn’t even see fit to love me??
But, every day, I see signs of His love, if only I pay attention.
In the light from the sun, the air in my lungs.
The ability and agility of my mind and body.
The laughter of my children.
My unique beauty.
All my gifts, talents, abilities.
My sense of humor.
My sensuality, sexuality.
My quirks that are only mine.
And I think, if God took the time to handcraft me,
Make me the way that I am, I should show my thanks.
I should live the way that He wants me to be.
You listen to Mr. Ford when He tells you how best to run that truck, don’t you?
And not based on a man telling me.
Not based on a book.
Based on GOD.
I began to understand that loving me IS loving God!
And despite what people may say, He doesn’t get mad when you do it right.
Go to high, He will knock you down.
But, that’s just a natural law.
“Taste and see that God is good.”
He’s like that lady at the grocery store offering free samples.
Except God isn’t reeling us in to buy crap.
He is trying to find a way to sell us on our own happiness.
Because, for some of us, the pain is comfort.
If your child was holding a knife that was cutting them, they were bleeding everywhere,
What would you do?
Seeing your child crying, begging for you help,
But not wanting to let go of the knife.
We do that with God.
And just like it would hurt you to see your child that way
It hurts God.
And then you will fly.
Bask in the warmth that is God’s love.
Love you the way God loves you more and more every day.
Have your greatest love affair with yourself.
And, if you get it right, life will feel like a hallelujah chorus.
Whenever you lose your way, listen to this: https://soundcloud.com/corinnejcollins/who-you-are